La La La La lalalala, Can We Still Be Friendsters?

Here at Big Media Company Where Jess Works, we're all faithful readers of Gawker. Sometimes they mention us. Well, not us specifically, but our company, and it's amusing to us because we do not work in the glamorous circles Gawker loves, but way across town and down in the trenches. (Case in point - today I am wearing not Manolos and Marc Jacobs, but six-year-old hiking boots and a button-down from the house of Navy. To my credit, these boots are really nice hiking boots - actually, they're the most expensive shoes I've ever owned.)

So when Gawker reported today that Friendster had enabled a new feature whereby you can see which friendster users have been browsing your profile, pandemonium erupted as we all frantically logged into our accounts, even though most of us haven't logged in in about six months. Sure enough, everyone who's browsed you retroactive to September 1st is listed, complete with links to profiles.

The true hilarity ensued with the discovery that no fewer than three of my officemates had browsed me in the last month. Stalkers. (Kidding. Especially since it's not like we all didn't immediately click "make me anonymous" and subsequently go looking for everyone we know within our company.)

My guess: Friendster just initiated this new deal so that everyone who created an account back when it was cool will fly into a blind panic and go logging into their old accounts to see who's browsing them, thereby re-sucking-in a few former users.

Hell, it worked for me.

Stupid Friendster.

PS, don't forget to come to my reading at Barbes this weekend. Sunday, 6 p.m. There will be cookies. The cookies are free. Also, I'll probably hug you, so long as you've showered recently and you don't try to cop a feel.

...and the president pauses and asks his Chief of Staff, "how many is a brazillion?"

(That, by the way, is the punchline of my current favorite joke.)

So I've had about a brazillion things going on lately, none of which make for much time to compose what I deem a literate and cogent blog entry, and isn't that what this blog is for?

Anyway, a few things of note:

1) The Barbes Reading Series continues this Sunday, October 2. Readers include Richard Fulco, Kenny Mann, and some chick named Jess Liese. (I hear she kind of sucks, though.) Anyway, 6 p.m. and there will be free homemade chocolate chip cookies.

2) Cremalita, while marginally less healthy for you, actually tastes better than Tasti D Lite. I was kind of sad to have to admit this, but I can't stay sad when I have a big soft creamy cup of dairyish lowfat frozen dessert in front of me.

3) Serenity NOW! Don't hate me because I get to see Serenity before you do. I'm hitting up a screening tomorrow.

What is Serenity, you may be wondering? Gee, I'm glad you asked. It goes something like this:

Joss Whedon, the Oscar® - and Emmy - nominated writer/director responsible for the worldwide television phenomena of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE, ANGEL and FIREFLY, now applies his trademark compassion and wit to a small band of galactic outcasts 500 years in the future in his feature film directorial debut, Serenity. The film centers around Captain Malcolm Reynolds, a hardened veteran (on the losing side) of a galactic civil war, who now ekes out a living pulling off small crimes and transport-for-hire aboard his ship, Serenity. He leads a small, eclectic crew who are the closest thing he has left to family –squabbling, insubordinate and undyingly loyal.

I've seen a few episodes of Firefly, which was thoroughly entertaining and definitely the best Joss Whedon product I've ever seen. I think this is going to be an excellent film, even if one goes in having never seen the show.

Also, I will confess that I have a bit of a crush on Alan Tudyk and have ever since I saw the otherwise wretched A Knight's Tale.

4) Walking the entire length of Broadway this Saturday with my boyfriend and a motley crew of other folks, including my pal David, co-founder of the twice-yearly Broadway Walk tradition. (Here and here you will find photos from our previous two walks.)

Raising the Bar(bes)

Oh, I live to put bad puns in my blog entry titles.

Tonight is my first writing group meeting. I'm referring to it as Write Club, thereby revealing my propensity for terrible puns yet again, but it doesn't have an official name because it's just the three of us doing our thing and trying to help each other out. I am looking forward to not being damned with faint praise for the 194857834th time in my life.

But I'm not here to write about that. I'm here to write about the reading series that I currently co-curate with Robyn. We're having our first event this Sunday. Here are all the details:

Sunday, September 18, 2005 at 6 p.m.
The Barbes Reading Series kicks off its 2005-06 season with a stellar set of readings from:

Robyn Schneider - Robyn Schneider is a reluctantly stereotyped young adult chick lit writer living on the Upper West Side. If she's feeling argumentative, she may claim that her writing is chick literary, whatever that means. She is a Barnard College student, former teacher in a Korean private school (don't ask) and oddly popular blogger. Her debut novel, BETTER THAN YESTERDAY, is forthcoming from Random House Delacorte. Her work has been published online and in print by the Orange County Register, Better Non Sequitur, AbsoluteWrite and many others. She also runs a scandalous online query database called Correspondences with YA Fiction Agents, and she is the co-curator of this here reading series.

Nick Mamatas - Nick Mamatas was nominated for both the Bram Stoker and International Horror Guild awards for the Lovecraftian Beat road novel MOVE UNDER GROUND. (Night Shade Books, 2004). His essays and fiction have appeared in the Village Voice, Razor, the UK Guardian, Polyphony, Strange Horizons, various Disinformation Books anthologies and dozens of other venues.

Jonathan Ames - Jonathan Ames is the author of six books, including Wake Up, Sir!, and the forthcoming I Love You More Than You Know in February 2006.

Barbes is located at 6th Avenue and 9th Street in Park Slope, Brooklyn.

DIRECTIONS:
From Manhattan, Take the last car of the F train to 7th Avenue, Brooklyn.

Exit at the southwest corner exit

Make a u-turn and walk downhill on 9th street towards 6th Avenue.

Barbes is on your left at 376 9th Street, a couple of stores in from the corner of 6th Avenue.

Should you need any further incentive, I should point out that the following will also be at this reading:

So there you go. How could you miss this fabulous event? It's even free! Free cookies and everything!

(Also, we're currently taking submissions from all types of writers with all levels of credentials, so please feel free to email us at readings at barbesbrooklyn.com. Tell us about yourself, and include a sample if you can.)

90% perspiration, 5% inspiration, and 5% threat of physical violence

In a bid to keep himself on the straight and narrow with regard to his writing, my friend Drew (an aspiring sci-fi novelist) has made a pact with his friend Josh. Each week, if Drew is unable to produce at least five pages of text, Josh is allowed to "kick [Drew] in the beanbag." Given that I do not often see Drew doubled over in pain, I'm going to guess that he's able to deliver this most weeks. He feels productive, he loves to talk about his projects, and we're all super-proud of him for keeping up such a steady pace.

It occurred to me that I could use something like that. Granted, I'm a girl and therefore do not have a beanbag, but some sort of writing buddy to keep me honest could be tremendously helpful as far as maintaining my productivity.

Fortuitously, while discussing all things writerly with my friends Sharon and Margarita (fellow writers both), we realized that all three of us were lacking two things in our writerly development - 1) nobody is kicking us in the metaphorical beanbag if we don't produce, and 2) nobody is giving us any constructive criticism.

You would think that critics are a dime a dozen, especially in New York. But none of us can seem to get anybody to rip our work apart with the intent of making it better. We've all done writing groups (Sharon and I actually met in a writing group!) but I've never gotten anything but damned with faint praise when I bring writing to the group. The smiling-nodding "yeah, that was really good" could mean one of two things - a) I actually AM good and they don't feel qualified to critique me or b) they're being nice and there's nothing that can be done to make me into a writer of consequence. And if one more person tells me they liked the way my piece "flowed", I'm going to start kicking beanbags left and right.

Me, though, I like nothing better - I even wonder sometimes if I'd be a better editor than I am a writer. I always loved it when I could offer up something really helpful to a fellow writing-grouper, and hell, I'd proofread your stuff for free just because I'm the rare sort of person who reads the Chicago Manual of Style recreationally.

So the three of us brainstormed for awhile - between my encyclopedic grammar brain, Margarita's knack for fitting together plot elements, and Sharon's ear for dialogue, we could all bring different editorial skills to the table, and we all need to be pushed. So we have concluded that we need to form a little mini writing group. We're not afraid to be harsh with each other and we're not afraid to get all Gunnery Sergeant Hartman on each other if we don't produce the requisite number of pages.

I think this will be good for me. I shall keep you posted.

In other news, the first installment of the Barbes Reading Series has been nailed down. Sunday, September 18th at 6 p.m. - Robyn Schneider, Nick Mamatas, and Jonathan Ames are scheduled to read. It's going to be fantastic. Cookies will be served.