He Was Delicious
Sure, he had perpetually low approval ratings, there was that sketchy business with the Warren Commission, and he told NYC to drop dead. But as a lifelong Presidential trivia buff, I always thought Gerald Ford was an awesome dude, and not just for the schadenfreude value of watching him hit his head on Air Force One or seeing Betty attempt to give Barbara Walters a tour of the White House while totally wasted.
Mediocre president? Sure. Cool guy? Hell yes.
With that, I bring you...
Ten Cool Things About Gerald R. Ford
1. He was an Eagle Scout. The only President who was one, in fact. Note that this was when the Boy Scouts were all about camping and tying knots (and not so much the right-wing nutso Jesusy stuff). I think this was back in the days when they'd do things like leave you alone overnight on an island with nothing but a pocketknife, a dixie cup, some string, and a live chicken (which I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to do anymore). Do NOT fuck with Eagle Scouts. They are hardcore.
2. When he was younger, he was HOT. Granted, ever since Kennedy, being telegenic has been something every President needs to be, and with the exception of the Bushes and Nixon, I'd probably have hit every one of 'em at 22. But Ford was hot enough to actually make money from his hotness. How many other presidents were on the cover of Cosmo?
(If you want to see the cover in question, I found it here, although the blogger who posted it says that the Ford Museum and Library can neither confirm nor deny that this is actually him. I find it sort of suspicious that these photos are as hard to track down as they are. It makes me want to take a trip to the library and spend an afternoon in the periodical room. I spent so many happy hours of my childhood digging through old magazines looking up random shit. Maybe I was a librarian in a previous life.)
(Also, here is photographic proof of Ford's attractiveness circa 1933. Rawr.)
3. His smarts and work ethic, not fancy connections, got him where he was. And he wasn't afraid of work, either. In undergrad, he washed dishes at his frat house for pocket money. Dude turned down offers to play pro football in favor of law school. To pay for it, he worked as an assistant coach for the boxing and football teams. And of course, there's that modeling stuff. Contrast that with most every other recent high-profile political figure - think anybody in the Bush dynasty has ever washed a dish in his life? (I must say, Clinton's blue-collar roots went a long way toward endearing him to me as well.)
It doesn't escape my notice, though, that hardworking, down-to-earth everyman Ford wasn't really trying to be the President. He took the job because it was his duty, not because he'd spent his entire life propelling himself to this one office. His main objective in politics wasn't really to Be The President, it was to make the world around him a better place. And I guess I think that's cool, too. Lord knows we'll never elect a guy like that.
4. He survived two assassination attempts. In three weeks. And took no bullshit for it. Rivaling John "If I kill the President maybe Jodie Foster will go out with me" Hinckley in their utter bizarreness, Squeaky Fromme and Sara Jane Moore's attempts on Ford's life barely shook the guy. He continued to make public appearances in the aftermath.
(Oh yeah, and Mr. Hinckley? Even if that sort of stuff DID impress her, you're totally not Jodie's type, if you know what I mean.)
5. He remained friends with the guy who kicked his ass in the '76 elections. Whenever I used to hear about the Ex-Presidents' Club as a kid, I always had this mental picture of Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter sitting around with tea (or scotch) and reminiscing. (And, of course, fighting crime together.) Jimmy Carter is awesome. Ford saw past partisan differences and even the fact that Carter stole his job and maintained a close friendship with him. Actually, in general Ford was a pretty easygoing guy, which was how he got appointed to the office of Vice-President in the first place - Nixon deliberately picked a guy with a clean record whom he knew everyone liked, so as to avoid further Agnew-esque ruckus.
6. He appointed John Paul Stevens to the Supreme Court. I heart John Paul Stevens. Ford said of Stevens, "He is serving his nation well, with dignity, intellect and without partisan political concerns." For those of you playing along at home, Ford's a Republican, and Stevens has become known as one of the most reliably liberal votes on the bench. In a world where it is fashionable among Republicans to refer to any left-leaning judge as "activist," it's refreshing to think that a President once appointed a judge on the basis of his potential objectivity and not whether he'd toe the party line.
7. Betty's willingness to admit a problem led to help for addicts everywhere. Betty Ford is arguably a bigger household name than her husband, thanks to the establishment of her eponymous clinic (which has become shorthand for drying out). Plus, Betty has been an outspoken advocate for women's rights (especially abortion rights), breast cancer research, and the arts. I realize this is her coolness at work here and not his, but I think being married to Betty makes Gerald cool by association.
8. He maintained a sense of humor. You just don't see Bush Sr. making jokes about vomiting on Japanese dignitaries, or Bush Jr. joking about falling off the Segway (yeah, remember that? that could have been a lot funnier!). But whether he was hitting people with golf balls or stumbling over his own feet, Ford was quick with the self-deprecating wit. "I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators," he famously said of his golf game.
9. He was left-handed...but only when sitting down. He batted, golfed and wrote on chalkboards right-handed. (Hey, not only do I know all kinds of weird shit about presidents, I know all kinds of weird shit about left-handed people.) He was also quick to joke about his left-handedness, and seems to have been as weirdly fascinated by his handedness as I am with mine.
10. SNL was funnier making fun of Ford than any other president. And I'm not even talking about Chevy Chase's brilliant impression here, even though I maintain it's the best Presidential impersonation ever done on SNL. (And possibly the only one that influenced voters come re-election time.) No, I'm talking about this sketch. "Today you're not gay, you know.. but then one day you wake up, you like men, and Gerald Ford dies, and we're screwed. Everyone's hearing about it from Dan Rather!"
Mediocre president? Sure. Cool guy? Hell yes.
With that, I bring you...
Ten Cool Things About Gerald R. Ford
1. He was an Eagle Scout. The only President who was one, in fact. Note that this was when the Boy Scouts were all about camping and tying knots (and not so much the right-wing nutso Jesusy stuff). I think this was back in the days when they'd do things like leave you alone overnight on an island with nothing but a pocketknife, a dixie cup, some string, and a live chicken (which I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to do anymore). Do NOT fuck with Eagle Scouts. They are hardcore.
2. When he was younger, he was HOT. Granted, ever since Kennedy, being telegenic has been something every President needs to be, and with the exception of the Bushes and Nixon, I'd probably have hit every one of 'em at 22. But Ford was hot enough to actually make money from his hotness. How many other presidents were on the cover of Cosmo?
(If you want to see the cover in question, I found it here, although the blogger who posted it says that the Ford Museum and Library can neither confirm nor deny that this is actually him. I find it sort of suspicious that these photos are as hard to track down as they are. It makes me want to take a trip to the library and spend an afternoon in the periodical room. I spent so many happy hours of my childhood digging through old magazines looking up random shit. Maybe I was a librarian in a previous life.)
(Also, here is photographic proof of Ford's attractiveness circa 1933. Rawr.)
3. His smarts and work ethic, not fancy connections, got him where he was. And he wasn't afraid of work, either. In undergrad, he washed dishes at his frat house for pocket money. Dude turned down offers to play pro football in favor of law school. To pay for it, he worked as an assistant coach for the boxing and football teams. And of course, there's that modeling stuff. Contrast that with most every other recent high-profile political figure - think anybody in the Bush dynasty has ever washed a dish in his life? (I must say, Clinton's blue-collar roots went a long way toward endearing him to me as well.)
It doesn't escape my notice, though, that hardworking, down-to-earth everyman Ford wasn't really trying to be the President. He took the job because it was his duty, not because he'd spent his entire life propelling himself to this one office. His main objective in politics wasn't really to Be The President, it was to make the world around him a better place. And I guess I think that's cool, too. Lord knows we'll never elect a guy like that.
4. He survived two assassination attempts. In three weeks. And took no bullshit for it. Rivaling John "If I kill the President maybe Jodie Foster will go out with me" Hinckley in their utter bizarreness, Squeaky Fromme and Sara Jane Moore's attempts on Ford's life barely shook the guy. He continued to make public appearances in the aftermath.
(Oh yeah, and Mr. Hinckley? Even if that sort of stuff DID impress her, you're totally not Jodie's type, if you know what I mean.)
5. He remained friends with the guy who kicked his ass in the '76 elections. Whenever I used to hear about the Ex-Presidents' Club as a kid, I always had this mental picture of Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter sitting around with tea (or scotch) and reminiscing. (And, of course, fighting crime together.) Jimmy Carter is awesome. Ford saw past partisan differences and even the fact that Carter stole his job and maintained a close friendship with him. Actually, in general Ford was a pretty easygoing guy, which was how he got appointed to the office of Vice-President in the first place - Nixon deliberately picked a guy with a clean record whom he knew everyone liked, so as to avoid further Agnew-esque ruckus.
6. He appointed John Paul Stevens to the Supreme Court. I heart John Paul Stevens. Ford said of Stevens, "He is serving his nation well, with dignity, intellect and without partisan political concerns." For those of you playing along at home, Ford's a Republican, and Stevens has become known as one of the most reliably liberal votes on the bench. In a world where it is fashionable among Republicans to refer to any left-leaning judge as "activist," it's refreshing to think that a President once appointed a judge on the basis of his potential objectivity and not whether he'd toe the party line.
7. Betty's willingness to admit a problem led to help for addicts everywhere. Betty Ford is arguably a bigger household name than her husband, thanks to the establishment of her eponymous clinic (which has become shorthand for drying out). Plus, Betty has been an outspoken advocate for women's rights (especially abortion rights), breast cancer research, and the arts. I realize this is her coolness at work here and not his, but I think being married to Betty makes Gerald cool by association.
8. He maintained a sense of humor. You just don't see Bush Sr. making jokes about vomiting on Japanese dignitaries, or Bush Jr. joking about falling off the Segway (yeah, remember that? that could have been a lot funnier!). But whether he was hitting people with golf balls or stumbling over his own feet, Ford was quick with the self-deprecating wit. "I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators," he famously said of his golf game.
9. He was left-handed...but only when sitting down. He batted, golfed and wrote on chalkboards right-handed. (Hey, not only do I know all kinds of weird shit about presidents, I know all kinds of weird shit about left-handed people.) He was also quick to joke about his left-handedness, and seems to have been as weirdly fascinated by his handedness as I am with mine.
10. SNL was funnier making fun of Ford than any other president. And I'm not even talking about Chevy Chase's brilliant impression here, even though I maintain it's the best Presidential impersonation ever done on SNL. (And possibly the only one that influenced voters come re-election time.) No, I'm talking about this sketch. "Today you're not gay, you know.. but then one day you wake up, you like men, and Gerald Ford dies, and we're screwed. Everyone's hearing about it from Dan Rather!"
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home